Roadblock

You know when you get stuck doing something for a long time, eventually you get fed-up of it, kinda like eating your favourite food for every meal for ages? Thats the point I’m at now - university just is not interesting any more, I’m sick of it and I can’t wait to move on.

Watch this space – three months, two weeks, four days and thirteen minutes from now I’ll be free and things will change.

How to Piss Me Off

As a software engineer the single question that pisses me off the most after I’ve written some software is “can it do X?”. On the face of it this seems a fairly reasonable question, but look at it this way….

If I went to the pet shop to buy a cat you should be able to reasonably assume that I have some idea what a cat is and it’s basic function given that I am about to spend hard-won money on one. I get to the pet shop, walk up to the assistant and say “Excuse me, can your cat solve suduku puzzles?”.

That is exactly the level of stupidity a developer is looking at and subsequently resenting. We have studiously written documentation in the simplest of terms, provided screenshots and even carefully named our product to avoid confusion and still you ask us if it can perform some gargantuan feat of magic whilst using terms like “I’m sure that any one who knows a thing about computers could do it.”

And another thing – if you are going to email me to tell ask for support because something doesn’t work please tell me what what it is that doesnt work – simply saying “it didn’t work” isn’t going to get a meaningful or polite response.

I’m fully aware I sound like a geek-nazi to a lot of people now but you lot don’t have to deal with this level of stupidity. Today a guy called up at work all the way from America (neglecting our American support number and calling the UK instead) to say that he had installed some software we sell and he thought something didnt work, but he didnt check to see what it was, and he was at work so he couldent look at the machine. He pointed out that his child, for whom he had purchased a laptop and our software, had some ‘disablities. Yes folks, we now have proof that stupidity is hereditary.

Steven Seagul

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